Guilty
by brokenrussiancrawl
Summary: "Do you ever think about Jimmy Edwards?" "Yeah I do." "Do you think that we could have stopped him?"


**Fact about me, Brokenrussiancrawl: I loved this season. Nathan and Haley getting back together after Haley had to work to get him to believe that she really did love him; Brooke and Lucas being together while Peyton was secretly in love with him. The Haley and Brooke friendship. Jimmy taking the school hostage and how Nathan rushed inside to save Haley, AWE! All of it was great to me. Even Dan killing Keith for sleeping with his wife. ****L**

**Guilty**

Haley was sitting at a picnic table outside of school trying to do work. But she couldn't concentrate on the work, she kept thinking about Jimmy Edwards and what had happened the day that he and Keith died. It was about a month ago and Lucas proved that he was really a great person on the inside by going to Jimmy's funeral even though he was pissed that Jimmy had killed his uncle.

But Jimmy wasn't really to blame. It was the people who abandoned him and made him think that he didn't matter. It was the people who teased and taunted him every day. It was everyone but him that made him turn to suicide in the end. It was people like her and Mouth who left him behind in the chase of something else. It was the gang that made him feel as though he didn't belong in the crowed anymore.

It was sad; all Jimmy wanted was for someone to notice him in a good way. For a smile and a little 'hey, Jimmy' from someone, but instead all he got were insults and to watch as his so-called-friends moved on and turned their back on him. For a year, she didn't even give him a second thought as she passed him in the hallway. She was so caught up in her life to worry about what he was going thru.

Tears came to her eyes and she began to wonder if this would happen to her. If one day she was the one left behind while everyone else moved on and forgot about her. If it was so easy to just forget about Jimmy Edwards, how hard would it be to forget about Haley James Scott? It would be as easy as forgetting what you had for dinner last Friday. It could happen to anyone.

"Hey." Mouth said as he sat down across from her. He didn't smile and she didn't try to smile back at him. "Are you okay?" He asked as he noted her tears.

"Yeah, I was just um." She didn't finish.

"Thinking about what happened," Mouth finished for her as he looked down.

Haley played with her pencil waiting for him to say something. She didn't want to be the first person to say something; she didn't know what to say to him or about Jimmy. Maybe she should tell him about her insecurities; one look at him changed her mind. Mouth didn't need her baggage and he didn't need to feel like he had to be with her forever. No, that job goes to Lucas and Nathan. But could she mention it to them?

"Do you ever think about Jimmy Edwards?" Mouth asked softly, it was almost like he was trying to keep this between them, like he didn't want anyone to know we were talking about Jimmy, in case they get mad.

Haley looked at him for a moment with her mouth pressed together, "Yeah, I do."

Mouth looked down as he whispered, "Do you think we could have stopped him?"

Haley reached out her hand and placed it on top of Mouth's arm. She waited until her looked at her, "No." she shook her head and squeezed his arm, "I think that Jimmy would have found another way to die even if we could have stopped him with the gun."

Mouth nodded and looked away across the quad. "I don't know how people can go on and act like nothing happened, like we didn't just lose a student here, like Luke didn't lose his uncle." Mouth said angrily as he watched people laugh and throw a football to each other. "They think that since it wasn't them or anyone they know or care about that they don't have to worry or be concerned."

"I don't think that is true." Haley said as she watched everyone with him. "I think that they are all trying to hang on to some semblance of normalcy. We all are. They are doing what we are: trying to hang on to something so we don't ponder the 'what if's'."

"Why would they need to think about that kind of stuff?" Mouth said as he turned to look at her, "They weren't the ones in the classroom with him. They weren't the ones who had heard the gun go off."

"Don't you think I know that?" Haley asked as she placed her hand under her chin. "Mouth, we weren't the only ones in the room, or the school. We didn't see it when he shot off the first bullet that hit Peyton. That right there is enough to scare people. They must think about how that could have been them."

"But it wasn't." Mouth said weakly, tears started to form in his eyes as he looked down at the table.

Haley scooted closer to him and put her arm around him. "I know." She whispered. Mouth leaned against her and began to cry. Haley wrapped her other arm around him and held him tighter as she began to move slowly from side to side, rocking him, soothing him. "I know," she said again.

"I feel…" Mouth broke off, not knowing what he feels.

"Guilty." Haley informed him. They both felt like that. They both felt that they had let him down and left him behind. It wasn't fair of them, to leave him behind, to beg for his forgiveness in the classroom, to beg for him not to pull the trigger.

"Yeah," Mouth said as he moved away from her. He whipped his eyes and looked at her. "Thanks Haley."

Haley smiled sadly at him, "Anytime."

Mouth looked like he wanted to say something else but wasn't sure if he should. Haley didn't have to ask to know what it was. "I miss him too." She whispered to him. Mouth looked at her again with tears in his eyes.

"I wish he would have listened to us. I wish he wouldn't have gone and killed Keith and then himself."

"So do I, but, Mouth, we can't change the past and we're not responsible for the actions or others. We cannot be accountable for what he did that day. This was on Jimmy and him alone." Haley rubbed his back, "We did everything we could. We TRIED, and that was all we could have done."

"You're right."

"I usually am." Haley joked. Mouth smirked.

"I have to go and grab my stuff for next hour. See you in class." She nodded in confirmation.

Haley watched as he walked away, wondering if Mouth would ever get over what happened with Jimmy Edwards. She hoped that one day he would, he didn't need to carry this around with him. Mouth needs to do what she was gonna do, learn from this and not repeat it.

"What was that about?" Lucas asked as he sat down beside her.

Haley looked at him and then back in the direction that Mouth just left. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything Hales." Luke said in a reassuring voice.

Haley wasn't sure that this was such a good idea anymore. Maybe she should do this another time. Or, maybe, never bring it up again. That seemed like a good ideal. But glancing at Luke made her sure that he wasn't gonna let up on this.

"What did you have for dinner last Friday?" She asked instead.

Luke laughed for a moment, "I had frozen pizza." Haley looked at him with shocked eyes. Lucas smiled, "Mom and I had bought it the night before, remember? You ate with us on Thursday."

Haley smiled as tears came to her eyes, "You ordered my favorite."

"But I made you promise that next time we would get my favorite." Luke nodded. "Now what was the real question that you wanted to ask me?"

Haley bit her lip and looked down at her hands, "You can't laugh at me or give me a dumb or rhetorical answer. I want you to be honest with me." Haley said in a firm voice.

Luke looked at her for a moment then nodded. "Okay, I promise."

Haley sighed and looked him in the eye, "When we go off to college…are we going to grow apart like we grew apart from Jimmy?"

Luke took a moment to look at her and saw the honesty in her eyes; she was scared that what happened to Jimmy would happen to her. "That will never happen." Luke said firmly.

"How do you know?" Haley said frustrated. "We might get into a fight, or do something that the other doesn't like and we might never speak again. And I'll be alone."

"Because you're my best friend, Hales," Luke moved closer to Haley and put his arm around her and rubbed her back. "I need you. There is nothing that is ever going to make us stop being friends. You married Nate and I still love you." Haley laughed at his joke and leaned into him.

"So, what you're saying is: I'm stuck with you." She said sarcastically.

"I guess so." Luke said back.

"Good, because I need you as my best friend; I can honestly say, I don't know what I would do without you." Haley frowned at the thought of them not being friends.

"Same here, Hales, same here," Luke said as he kissed the top of her head.

They were silent for a while, just watching everyone and enjoying the company of their friendship. "Were gonna get thru this, Haley. We've been thru so much, why would we let something like this interfere with our friendship?"

"I hope you're right, Luke." Haley said as the bell rang.

"I am." Luke said as they gathered their stuff and began to walk to class. "Besides, life without me will get VERY boring."

"Ha ha," Haley said as she shoved his shoulder. Nathan came up beside Haley and gave her a kiss as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. They walked a little more and Brooke came and met up with them.

"Hey boyfriend, hey best friend. Best friends husband." She greeted them.

"Hey, Mouth." Nathan called out.

Mouth was at his locker when they passed him. Haley had class with him and Lucas. Mouth looked up and smiled at them. Closing his locker he joined them, "Hey everyone."

Together they all walked down the halls to their next class. Haley looked at everyone and then at Lucas who was watching her. She gave him a smile and a nod; Luke returned the smile and looked back to Brooke who was talking about visiting Peyton after school.

Sighing, Haley snuggled into Nathans arm; he looked down and squeezed her tighter in to his side. Haley smiled at thinking about how everything was going to be okay. She had her husband and her best friends by her side and she was ready to face whatever happens next.

She was done feeling guilty for moving on and living her life. She was done feeling guilty for leaving Jimmy behind when he never tried to stick around. Looking at her friends, her family, she knew that she never has to worry about ending up alone, never has to worry about being abandoned. She was safe where she was and she was not ready to let that change.

**The End**

**Over the seasons I never saw much Mouth and Haley moments. I thought that it would be nice to see something between them. I LOVE the friendship between Haley and Luke so I had to add it. I hope you liked it.**


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